Here’s another story about my growing up in Hamilton…

Fish Pond Bob’s Pond

Big Dan Golombowski and I were very good friends. One summer evening we went to the back-field to split a case of beer. By the time we finished it off, it was dark. In addition, it was very hot and the humidity was high. It was the night after the day Fish Pond Bob finished work on his new fish pond. He worked his ass off to fill it with plants, and whatever it is that people do to fix up ponds. We were about as drunk as you can be, and still be able to walk and talk! When we spotted the pond, we both got the same exact idea, at the same exact time…”it would feel really good to put our tired, dirty, hot feet into the beautiful water.”  So we did. But then we decided to wade through the pond. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It was not our intention to damage his property. But after we walked from one end to the other, side by side, we turned around and there were all kinds of plants and roots and crap floating on top that hadn’t been there before! We were not sorry cause we knew what he had been doing:  We knew Bob was actively luring young girls into his van. He would make real friendly…give them beer, wine, and we had heard, even drugs. Then he would take pictures of them! As far as we were concerned, he was a piece of dung. So we just laughed about it and put our shoes and socks back on. Just as we were walking away, the flood lights on Bob’s house came on!

The back door opened and Bob started hollering! He was so angry! We slipped away easily through the darkness. But we could still hear him yelling most of the walk home. He was screaming like a banshee…Mainly, I think, because he had JUST put the finishing touches on his pond that very day! I think it took him weeks to design and build. And I’m sure he spent plenty of money on it, too. Later, he really tried to get the neighborhood kids to squeal on us. I mean, we made no effort to conceal it from anyone. But there wasn’t anybody foolish enough to talk. And this is what I learned through all this…BEWARE OF WHITE MEN WHO LIKE PHOTOGRAPHY AND DRIVE A VAN…

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