There is one thing on my to do list that I cannot seem to get done: FIND A JOB! I have been looking for a job since mid-2007. Not constantly, though, because I have had to scratch and claw working as a painter/handyman/home improvement contractor/ or whatever else I could do to earn money, for 4 solid years. But during the down times I searched the Sunday paper, online, networked, etc. to no avail. I’ve never seen it like this. I have not been able to pay my mortgage payment for about 2 years (or is it 3?). And it is only $419.22! I live in a trailer park with a rent payment of $375. I have never NOT paid this. But now it is beginning to look like I may miss my 1st park rent payment in over 9 years. The reason I have not been thrown out of my home (and I don’t know this for certain) is that there are so many other folks who are unable to pay their mortgages, who have MUCH higher payments than I, that I’m not even on the radar screen of my mortgage cpmpany. I am also in arrears in my property/school taxes…and have been for a couple years. In fact, I am a good 2 years behind. I have been forced to participate in payment plans in which, if I were to be late with just 1 payment, the sheriff might be called to “vacate” myself, Linda, Amanda…all of our belongings…and about a dozen pets onto the street. It doesn’t feel good.

I have told everyone I know how badly I need work. I have refused to apply for Social Security Disability, in hopes that I can find a job I enjoy, not too far from home, and that pays just enough to cover the bills with a little left over.

UPDATE: I applied for SSD benefits in November. I was denied. I appealed in January. I am still waiting. I have no prospects for a job, or work of any kind. My taxes are due, my rent is 10 months in arrears, and I am still trying to believe in my country, the human race, and my Heavenly Father. But it is getting extremely hard…